why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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