Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
