Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
