I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
honey bunches of taint.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You're like the curious george of whores
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
