STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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