i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
