Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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