My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
