Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
