After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
