tell your sister to shave her snatch
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
