Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I will be naked everywhere
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
