I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
