I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
4 words: hood of his car
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
