smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
