I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
