areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
