remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
