it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dignity is for republicans.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
