You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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