My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
