I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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