she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
