I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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