Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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