So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
