this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
