Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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