how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
