okay pat passed out under dana's car
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
