There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
