Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
