I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
