You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize