we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
