dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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