YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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