you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
