I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
