i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
