I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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