I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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