Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Enjoy the penises
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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