I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
