Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
