Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
