I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
