My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's blow job season.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
