chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
