I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
