scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
