when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
