It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
