I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
