I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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