We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize