On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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