***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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