So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
