I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
