found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
