remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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