evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
