Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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