Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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