I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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