**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
