wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
