youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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