Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize