i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
